Hello There! Welcome to another February Guest Blogger Feature!
This month I have asked fellow bloggers to write about LOVE. Around Valentine’s Day we often dwell on relationships past and present, and sometimes lack thereof. For some, it is the happiest of months, and for some, it creates bitterness, resentment, and sadness.
to see the rest of the blogs in this series!
For those who tend to be down this time of year, Hibachi Chicken offers a personal story, and uplifting message that I think all of us, no matter what situation we may find ourselves in, can take to heart. This story brought tears to my eyes, and I am so happy and proud to be allowed to share it with you all!
Have you ever noticed how it is sometimes harder to love yourself than it is to love someone else? Why are we so harsh on ourselves? I think that is something we can all relate to at some point in our lives, but during Valentines Day, I am reminded of that fact even more.
It is that special time of year where everywhere you look there are heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, flowers, and teddy bears begging to be purchased for lovers. However, not everyone has someone this time of year, and I’m here to inform you that being single during Valentines Day doesn’t have to suck.
Maybe with a little more love, it can actually be great. I’m single, and I’m not trying to mingle, at least not seriously because, in all honesty, I am excited for Valentines Day. I am excited to spend it with me, myself, and I, and here’s why. Through heartbreak, I found myself, and I did the biggest favor a person can ever do for themselves. My story is not unique, nor should it be viewed as a sad story, because it’s not. It is the story of how heartbreak brought me back to my first love. Myself.
I can’t help but smile at all the love in the air, which is funny considering I was dumped a mere six months ago.
It was rough, to say the least. I’m talking, full on break down on my part.
Last year around this time I was unhappy. I was in a relationship where I was giving everything I could, but getting the minimal in return. I spent many nights crying, not understanding what was so wrong with me, and not knowing how to fix my unhappiness.
Valentines Day came and went in a flash for me. My boyfriend at the time and I spent it at Dairy Queen, and declared our love all day, not because we felt it for each other, but because it was what society told us to do on that day.
Over the months the relationship took a toll until it simply was at its end. I was dumped. I was left behind by a relationship I gave everything to, how could that even happen? Needless to say, I was truly devastated, I had lost all sense of who I was, and what I was even doing anymore. How was I supposed to pick up the pieces, and carry on when I had spent the past two years, giving all my love to this person who in a single day, brought down everything I tried so hard to build?
That right there, that was my mistake. I gave ALL my love to someone, and something else. I gave it all to him and saved none for me.
It wasn’t an easy realization to come to. To learn that you had lost who you were, that you no longer loved the person you had become. I was a different person during my time with my ex, and once I was on my own, I looked in the mirror and saw someone else staring back at me.
Who was she? I certainly didn’t know her. She cried a lot. That wasn’t who I saw myself as, but there she was staring back at me, begging to be loved, and there I had been, ignoring her pleas.
That is why I spent so many nights crying. I wanted to love, but I was asking for it from the wrong person. I smiled. I laughed actually, well kind of cried also. I felt stupid. Not in a negative way, more in the “Wow! How oblivious can you be?” kind of way. I spent months in my own head saying “If only he loved me more” or “If only we were happier together.” When all I needed was to love myself.
Now don’t get me wrong, that is easier said than done. You don’t just wake up one morning magically loving everything about yourself, it is a journey, and it is the greatest one I have ever been on. I looked at that woman in the mirror, and I told her to straighten up, to listen to music, to take a bike ride, to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
I grieved, I had weeks of crying in my bed, but when I was not grieving I was taking care of myself. I went on mini trips for lunch with myself. I danced to music down the street. When I was uncomfortable I went further because I knew, no matter what anyone said or thought, I had to be there for myself. If I did something stupid, I owned it. If I tripped over my own feet, I caught myself and laughed it off. If I did anything, I owned it and embraced it. I was me… I AM me, and I love it.
Society teaches us that we are meant to find someone to be with, that special someone we can have that fairy tale ending with when in reality there is no ‘ending’. We don’t live in a movie, and sometimes relationships don’t go the way that we plan, but who is to say that’s bad? Really though who is making the rules? Because I think it is high time we rewrite the rules!
There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship as long as you are happy, but I refuse to hear people tell me, and others that we are missing something simply because its Valentines Day, and we are ‘alone’.
We are not alone because we have ourselves. I have myself every single day, I’m always there for myself, I take care of myself. I sometimes work myself a little too hard, and sometimes I give myself one too many Oreos, but at the end of the day I am always there, and because of that I am never alone.
I am ready to tackle this Valentines Day, to continue my journey of self-love, and to find the happiness I know is all around me. I am larger than life, I am my own person, someone who cannot be tamed. I encourage my fellow ‘lonely’ people to join me.
If you are single this Valentines Day, take yourself out. Go on a date with YOU, watch your favorite movie, make a nice dinner, buy some chocolate, do whatever it is that YOU love because you deserve it. You deserve the love that you can give.