Today I offer you a beautifully written affirmation of self-discovery and love written by the absolutely beautiful and talented Lois Goswell just in time for Valentine’s Day! She shows us that no matter who is in our lives, or who isn’t, the most important person you can love is with you all the time! She tells us how she re-discovered herself through self-care and gives a few tips on how we can do that for ourselves this month and every day!
Find all of the February Guest Blogger features HERE.
Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and yet another year I will be spending it single. After my last relationship, February 14th always got under my skin. I knew it shouldn’t have gotten me down, but with couples unavoidably confessing their undying love for each other on social media, it was almost inevitable. Last year my housemates (both in relationships at the time) could sense my serious ‘Scrooge’ vibes, so they cheered me up with a little gift and a card that said ‘Happy Gal-entines Day’. It was the first time I thought of Valentine’s Day as not just a celebration of relationships, but also friendship. It was a sweet gesture.
This year, I’m going a step further and celebrating my relationship with myself. I know it sounds super corny, but I’ve spent the last few months really working on becoming the best version of myself, and I’ve realized how important my self-worth actually is.
I’ve practiced mindfulness, yoga and meditation on and off for about the last 3 or 4 years, but I was never patient enough to see results, so it never became a routine. Having any sort of self-care routine is something that I only saw these fancy people on Pinterest and Instagram do, not me. I hated myself for being so lazy.
I have a very driven attitude – I’m currently in my final year of university and I work pretty damn hard. But my perfectionist brain is constantly reminding me that I could be doing more. “Grind harder!”, “Look at all those people that work so much harder than you, you’re just lazy, you don’t deserve success.”
It was such a natural thought process for me. But if you think about it, could you imagine saying that to someone you knew? A friend or even just a stranger in the street? It’s so cruel!
Our brains are being programmed to compare ourselves to others (all credit where it’s due, thanks to social media), and often we do it without realizing. We can be so mean to ourselves, and when I realized how toxic my own thoughts were, I decided to do something about it.
I used the start of 2019 to jump on the ‘new year, new me’ train (cringe, I know, sorry!). I was sick of giving up on my goals before I even started them, and I knew if I was to combine discipline with compassion, I might make some progress.
So that’s what I did.
Every day since January 1st, 2019, I have exercised for at least 10 minutes and done at least one thing that will contribute towards my goals, and I tell you what, I am feeling GOLDEN.
By pushing myself to have a little bit more discipline, I’m no longer telling myself how lazy I am. I’m no longer worried about not achieving my goals because at least I’m doing something towards them, rather than nothing at all.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
Alongside this, I’m also learning to love myself more. Whenever I feel frustrated, anxious or full of doubt, I remind myself that I’m doing the best I can. Having some sort of mantra like “If I could have done more, I would have”, is a great way to anchor your thoughts.
Embarking on a journey of self-love can be hard at times, but is always rewarding in the end. Only when we learn to love ourselves can we truly begin to love others.
Whether you’re in a relationship or as single as a dollar bill (like me), take some time this Valentine’s Day to love yourself – have a hot bath, write out 3 things you’re grateful for, give yourself a big internal hug and say ‘you’re doing a great job’.